Just say no! "To the drama of the workplace

Before entering into the discussion of the solution of the problem, let's take a look at an example of the real world of work dysfunction that I call Drama addiction . The following is an example of the behavior addicted to the drama of a worker with problems.

" We got along when they first hired her. But over the course of a few years, she was promoted to supervise two other people in the department. That's when all the problems started. She began to see herself in charge of the entire department, including me, not just her staff. That would not be so bad, except that she completely lacks people skills. She has managed to offend or alienate several people in the company, not just our department, including some of our customers and vendors. She is sarcastic, condescending, negative, rude and caustic with her coworkers. In addition, he has a very poor work ethic (he is generally expected to call for illness after taking a vacation day because he will have a hangover). She is very focused on titles and positions and constantly says and does things to show that she sees herself as superior to everyone else in the department. She makes a big problem with the smallest mistakes someone makes and quickly blames other people for their bad decisions and decisions

Whenever there is a conflict, he is ALWAYS instigated by her with someone for whom she feels threatened. On many occasions, I have had to defend myself from my boss because of the lies he has told me about me. I guess it's in her best interest to make me and everyone else look bad so she can look better for her boss. Everyone else in our department gets along with each other. At one point, there was a revolt close to the office against his unpleasant attitude because he ordered people to do things that made no sense, and did not have the authority. Everyone in the department complained about her to our boss. As a result, he was asked to take & # 39; people skills & # 39; # 39; training. But the class he took was & # 39; dealing with difficult co-workers & # 39; # 39; as if we were the ones who had the problem. Then, she started using this & # 39; family problem & # 39; excuse for not having done his job. I seriously doubt that your family really puts such stress on you because it makes it clear that it doesn't have much to do with them. But I do believe that her family history has made her a person focused on negativity, comfortable only when she is not happy and in the middle of some kind of drama or crisis … as if those things somehow gave her what she craves. "

In this narrative, the worker described frequently engages in disruptive behavior with her coworkers. A clue to his dysfunction is revealed in the last sentence of the story: "… comfortable only when you're not happy and in the middle of some kind of drama or crisis …" It is clear from this description that he craves the stimulation obtained from his histrionic behaviors. In fact, I affirm that, on a certain level, she knows that she is emotionally dead without her frequent emotional outbursts and pranks in the workplace. Unlike healthy people, this employee seeks to feel alive not through the congratulations of his boss for his excellent work results, but through his frequent performance episodes. In fact, his game is to foster crises by turning his coworkers with his personal dramas. Why? Because this behavior stimulates the adrenal glands of your body that produce the effect of a physiological "high". His addiction is similar to substance abuse by a drug addict and his favorite drug is adrenaline instead of something illegal. In other words, his affinity for drama is addictive behavior that is driven by the "trouble" he feels as he rummages his pot of "crisis" at every opportunity.

Workmate solution – If you are a co-worker who is the target of an employee addicted to drama, how can you deal constructively with this situation? Before providing my suggestion of a coping strategy, I need to inform you about a relevant factor in this dynamic of the workplace. If you are NOT the manager (or supervisor) of the drama addict, but rather a peer-level co-worker, you do not have the authority to completely get rid of this nuisance. Only the administrator of the drama addict has this power (see Administrator Solution below). That said, you have the power to neutralize the drama addict in a way that limits their negative impact on their job satisfaction. Indeed, you need a strategy that puts you outside the sphere of attack of the drama addict. Consequently, you need a behavioral response that allows you to save time until management makes the right decision to permanently rehabilitate or remove this employee from the workplace.

So what should you do if a drama addict hires you at work? Let's start with a typical scenario. The drama addict involves him by taking him to an argument to support his claim that he is the victim of another person's abuse. The conversation can begin innocently, which implies talking about a harmless and mundane subject. Keep in mind, however, that drama addicts are smart in this way. They know how to catch you in his histrionic vortex before you realize what hit you. But once you realize that you have been absorbed by a tirade full of drama, you should react quickly with an announcement something like "I just realized that I have a deadline to meet. I'm sorry, but I". "I have to go back to work to finish a project of my boss." This response, at least temporarily, will save you from the emotional confusion that the addict has created for you. Why will it work? Because it is true, there is always a deadline to work. Therefore, your statement is honest, unlike what you can expect from the addict. However, keep in mind that the drama addict will contact you later to confirm your excuse by asking: "By the way, did you meet that deadline you mentioned yesterday?" These people are disciplined about holding others responsible in relation to their need for emotional stimulation, but they are rarely held responsible, since they live primarily in the fantasy they have created to calm their dysfunction.

What you have probably learned from all this is that you should use avoidance behavior to protect yourself from the intrusion of the drama addict. Why avoid? Because you are not the manager and you have no authority to shoot. As a consequence, your only option to deal effectively with a drama addict is to do everything possible to stay away from him or her. It's that simple: out of sight, out of mind. If the drama addict cannot get you involved, he will eventually stop making the effort and move on to another person who is more receptive. According to their experience, they operate in an environment rich in objectives. That is, many coworkers are willing to play the drama addict game for a variety of personal reasons, but do not have to participate. Just give your excuse to the first hint of drama in the conversation and return to what you enjoy most at work: do your job well and make a significant contribution to your team.

Manager Solution – Unfortunately, the addiction of the kings and queens of drama forces them to participate in destructive behaviors for the goals and objectives of an organization. Because of this potential threat to the organization, managers must face this addictive behavior at the first sign of their occurrence in the workplace. By "confronting" I mean taking decisive measures to convince the offending employee to give up his addiction and the bad behaviors that feed him. By the way, no amount of "talk" therapy sponsored by RR. H H. It will solve the bad behaviors of a drama addict in a timely manner. True addictions require months or even years to resolve, and your team cannot wait so long for normalcy to return to the workplace. As a consequence, formal employee advice is the best solution to deal with drama addicts. (two) By "formal advice" I mean that a manager must bluntly advise the employee addicted to drama, using a structured approach, making it clear that there are serious consequences for this behavior, including termination of work if necessary. In addition, a manager must act quickly to send a message to other employees who may be tempted to play the drama game, either because they are also dysfunctional or because they fear retribution from the addicted worker if they refuse to follow the game. Everyone in the entire organization should be aware that you and your senior management will not tolerate this bad behavior in any context.

Now, let's analyze the specific HOW to confront and solve employees addicted to drama. First, you should always refer to this behavior by its real name -DRAMA ADDICTION. If you wish, hang up posters throughout the workspace so everyone can see them. I suggest using printed posters with phrases like " The drama does not work! "OR" Just say & # 39; NO & # 39; to Drama! "This will increase employee awareness of the existence of this problem, but it will also use any other tool that you believe will serve this same purpose. The important thing to remember is to spread the word as quickly and completely as possible without naming names ( of addicts) in the process.In addition, be sure to point to employees when they engage in behavior addicted to drama.At that time, also explain why this behavior is destructive to them and to the organization.Always be SPECIFIC and DISPASSIONATE In these As your leaders, your objectivity will be tested again and again by your employees addicted to drama because one aspect of your game is to throw it away from yours, which will show (in their minds) that you are as dysfunctional as Don't go there! You must always be the consummate professional; always be the adult in the room.In fact, your professionalism is ultimately the antidote to your dysfunction ion.

Now that you know the nature of the problem and better understand the behaviors of the drama addict, it is time to call your bragging. To begin this procedure, you must first ask the following questions about your WORST offending employee:

1. Does this employee's work effort contribute to the achievement of my organization's mission?
2. Does this employee work cooperatively and professionally with all teammates (this includes you as a team manager) to achieve results that support the goals and objectives of my organization?
3. Do this employee's behaviors foster a work environment that creates joy, freedom and growth?

If the answer to ALL these questions is YES, then you have an excellent employee. Continue to ask these questions about your NEXT WORST employee, and the next one, and so on until you have asked these questions about all your problematic employees. If the answer to ANY of these questions about any employee is NO, then you should proceed with a formal counseling procedure to re-align it with your organization or eliminate it from it. During formal counseling, you must confront the offending employee, without stinging words, about the problems you are causing and how you expect him to correct his behavior immediately or run the risk of being fired. (two) (Note: a future article will discuss the detailed details of this formal advisory procedure).

(one) To learn more about the science of human engineering and to find out what scientific aptitude tests have done to improve the careers of people like you, visit the Johnson O & # 39; Connor Research Foundation Homepage.

(two) Born manager (Indianapolis, IN: Dog Ear Publishing, 2009), p. 51-54, 90, 255-6.

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